Age In Balance
Age has never been as significant as it is in this year’s presidential election.

By: Robert Schwalbe, PhD.

What does “ageism” mean?

It means that a bias is being applied based on one’s age. This is discrimination. It often happens in the workplace when a deserving person who may well be in his forties, fifties or sixties, is passed over for promotion in favor of a younger person. If this can be proven it is against the law.

I believe ageism will play a significant part in the upcoming elections and will effect how people choose the man for whom they will vote. But it will not only have an impact in the way people see John McCain as too old but also Barack Obama as too young.

If an older person sees himself as elderly, ineffective, lacking in stamina, creativity, inspiration and vitality he may apply that to the older of the two candidates. This is called projection. When one applies how he sees himself to someone of similar age and he does not feel good about himself you can rest assured that his vote will be influenced by his subjective feelings. Likewise, someone who is young, let’s say in his thirties or forties, and sees that his years have not brought him the satisfaction he seeks may apply his personal dissatisfaction in not voting for Obama who is 46 years old.

A patient of mine, who is 67 years old, recently said he’d never vote for the Democratic candidate. “Why he’s the same age as my son and that boy has never amounted to anything.” So, yes, the way one sees himself or his personal experience with youth or older age can influence his decision making in the upcoming elections.

One of the primary reasons that Senator McCain had in selecting his Vice- Presidential running mate was her youth in order to offset his age. And Barack Obama did the same in inviting Senator Joe Biden to join his ticket. It is the age balancer. In looking at a photograph of both partners both teams appear as identical dancers in a common dance. In both instances one can see the generational divide between partners.

I once worked with a man in my practice whom I’ll refer to as Charles. When I opened the door to my waiting room to greet Charles at our first meeting I saw before me a man with dyed hair, a face that has had much plastic surgery and capped teeth. Nothing wrong with any of that until he told me his story.

He said that he is married for 41 years and loves his wife. She is a contented and happy woman. He has children and grandchildren, is financially stable, is well traveled and enjoys his work. He said that he recently woke in the morning and looked at his wife sleeping beside him and felt absolutely no sexual desire for her. “I was looking at an old woman. I can’t make love to a grandmother,” said Charles. When I asked him his age he said both he and his wife were 66 years old. I was intrigued.

It is noteworthy that Charles who has tried hard to disguise his age sees his wife as old and not himself. What he denies about himself he applies to his wife. I don’t find anything wrong with a face lift, dyed hair or capped teeth in order to enhance ones image. Look good for your age but don’t lie about it. What can be more handsome than a man in his sixties who takes care of himself and projects an attractive and confident appearance. With maturity comes the challenge to work hard at being healthy, well groomed and fit.

Our candidates project a healthy image and certainly make no attempt at hiding their ages. But will our vote be influenced by how we see them or ourselves? My patient Charles may well see John McCain as too old for the job because he obviously prizes youth. Others may see Senator Obama as too young to be the next President because his years may not have experienced enough of life’s challenges.

I always get a kick when Senator McCain introduces his 96-year old mother. He has someone to refer to as “Mom.” It may give the impression that the Senator is younger in years than he actually is. (No mention is ever made of the fact that the senator’s father died at the age the senator is now, 72). And, of course, it’s sweet to see Senator Obama embrace his adorable daughters. All of this creates an image of youth and vigor. And in a subtle way it is trying to influence how we see the candidates and how we will vote for them.

Yes, of course, party platform, race and gender will also have a powerful influence on our selection but be sure that how we see the age of each of the Presidential candidates will effect our decision.

Robert Schwalbe is a psychotherapist and psychoanalyst in private practice in New York City. His new book, “Sixty, Sexy and Successful. A Guide for the Aging Male Baby Boomer” (Greenwood Press, 2008) is available through Amazon.com